Its Never Too Late

remember when you first spoke to me?

asking the name of some girl with curly hair

she said she liked your shirt

what if you hadn’t chosen me to ask?

and then we went to the mall

apparently i stood on a table

and sang you a song

asking you, no forcing upon you

a ridiculous question…

what if i hadn’t been so confident?

we had just met

at first, you couldn’t say yes

you said you had plans with your friend

and you couldn’t leave him by himself

but then…you said yes

for whatever reason…

you took a chance on some random girl

instead of the comfort you knew

that’s so unlike you

i guess i’ve always made you try new things

…but what if you hadn’t taken that chance?

where would be today?

three years later…

would we have ever met?

would we have fallen in love?

were we meant to be

or was it all just by happenstance?

I’m an addict

and you’re my drug

when we kiss

and when we love

I fly so high

I’m on cloud nine

just to know

that you are mine

I smile

I laugh

I dance 

I sing

boy, you make me so happy

but when you’re away

everything’s changed

I can already feel

myself shaking

scared,

when will I see you again?

…

to be the real me

to fulfill myself completely

I need you there by my side

holding my hand

until the day we die

the withdrawals are sinking in

how much longer?

will we ever win

this battle between love and time

darling, when can you be mine?

I’ve fallen so far

I don’t smile the way I used to

I don’t laugh until I cry

I barely even laugh

I never hold my head up high

I don’t have fun the way I used to

I’m not fun to be around anymore

I feel so alone

I feel so on my own

I don’t know what happened

I’ve fallen so far

but I don’t want to wait anymore

sitting at the bottom of this pit

so won’t you rescue me?

throw me down a rope

or climb down a ladder

i just want to feel the sun again

so won’t you rescue me?

I don’t sing the way I used to

i never dance around my room

I’m never truly happy

I don’t know what happened

I’ve fallen so far

but I don’t want to wait anymore

sitting at the bottom of this pit

so won’t you rescue me?

throw me down a rope

or climb down a ladder

i just want to feel the sun again

so won’t you rescue me?

please rescue me.

What if I’ve changed?

What if I’m not that girl you fell in love with?

What if I’m different?

What if something about me just isn’t the same?

What if I’m older?

What if I’m much too serious for you?

What if my hair is shorter?

What if I look a stranger and you don’t recognize me?

What if….what if you don’t love me anymore?

I.
I am alone.
I am scared.
I am lost.
I am helpless.
I am weak.
LOVE.
Love is great.
Love is kind.
Love is strong.
Love is gentle.
Love is passion.
YOU.
You are wanted.
You are needed.
You are missed.
You are gone.
You are far.

So I wrote this over the summer.
But it’s still true now.

I miss feeling his heartbeat.
It was always so loud
And comforting.
I miss falling asleep on his chest
I miss crying in his arms
Crying is so lonely
Without him here to hold me
I miss holding his hand
I miss kissing him
I miss the way he would
Run his tongue along my lips
Playfully, jokingly
I miss the way he made me laugh
I miss his smile
His gorgeous smile
I miss watching him
As he drove with his sunglasses on
The windows rolled down
Not a care in the world
I miss the way he laughed at me
Whenever I said something silly
With his eyebrows raised
And his crooked smile
I miss the way he would tickle me
I miss how he would promise things
And always follow through
I miss the way he would answer
The questions in the songs on the radio
I miss his silence
As he let me sing every song on the radio
I miss hugging him
I miss feeling his arms around me
In his Calvin Klein shirt
I miss him.
So much.

I had a dream the other day
And you’ll probably find this crazy
But standing on a white porch
There was you and me
You were holding a baby girl
And calling out to your son
Who was playing in the waves
With a little toy sailboat
You had your sleeves rolled up
And wearing faded jeans
I was in a white dress, smiling
As you laughed with your children
We were the only ones there
A white little cottage
Along a white sandy beach
Under a baby blue sky
And the golden sun smiled down on us
It was the happiest I’ve ever been
but then I woke up.

I don’t know how to put into words
How grateful I am for you
You’re always here
Even when you’re so far away
You dry my tears
Even when I can’t see you
You believe in me
And you always have
I can tell you anything
You always listen
When I speak
You always find me
When I’m lost
You always catch me
When I fall
I’ve realized
I need you
I need you now
And I’ll need you forever
Be with me me forever.

I was weak and scared
I thought we were too young
I thought we were ridiculous
To think that love could last at 17
So to save my heart
I said goodbye
I thought that one scratch
would hurt less than a broken heart
But that tiny scratch grew and grew
And it tore my heart in half
And there’s not a day that goes by
That I don’t think of you
And think of the stars
Tell me you love me
And that you’ll still love me
When this is all over
Promise we’ll be together
Can we just be together now?
I’m done with missing you.
Don’t think I’m complaining
Or asking you for anything
I just dont know what to do
Because I’ve realized
You’re the only one for me
The only one I want
The only one that I need.
I needed you yesterday
I need you now
And I’ll always need you tomorrow.